Ayumi

I'm back..No, I'm not attributing this long absence to my pregnancy (though it did seem like a lifetime) or to the fact that I have been completely wrapped round my baby Ayumi's (have to write "ole baba go" and "guccha poochie" after her name) chubby fingers.  I am calm now. Realization has dawned that I am a mother now. 

Ayumi is perfect, no two ways about that. My biggest moment and probably my everlasting memory will be her eyes looking up at me and smiling while she feeds at my breast. She looks at me straight with unadulterated affection that has a clear message," Thanks, fellow human, I feel much better. Food's good!" 

Ayumi is very clear headed. She has a lot to say and she says it out loud and quick and doesn't stop till she's made her point. I don't know yet what her point is; she's two months and two weeks old. But whatever it is there is batter to the babble. She frowns and looks skeptical when she deems it right and refuses to pose for the camera. Her stunned expressions are my most beautiful photographs, so are her grimaces at being tossed and mauled by eager family and friends.

Ayumi gives me a sense of startled awareness. I have to get up and GO. There's no time to regret and fret. There are things to be done and goals to achieve. Ayumi has to have a good life. She's my fervent mission and the greatest love of my life.